Editor's note: We love the author's insight and honesty in his last point... if you are going to follow this how-to, be sure you have another job to fall back on. He got smart like this by NOT sitting in front of MTV all day, which we were fascinated to learn is the nemesis of rock music.

How to Stick It to the Man

The title tells it all. This is how to shove it to an authority figure. They have held you down too long. It's time to fight back.

  Steps

1. Identify the 'man'. You don't want to hurt an average Joe like yourself.

2. Listen to rock music. This is key. Rock was born to stick it to the man.

3. Stop watching MTV. This is the man's way of corrupting rock.

4. Stop giving into the man. If he is your boss, then slack off during work. If you're in school, then slacking and not participating in extra curricular activities is a must.

5. Find other people who are tired of being spat on, and hang out with them.

6. Remember it's everyone vs. the man. Even the evil henchmen that work for the man are being cheated out of what they have earned.

7. Never give the man extra. You only associate with him to survive. Nothing more.

8. Preps in school are going to become the future 'man' for many people. So try and stop them while they are young.

9. This fight will never finish. You must go on trying to secure your place in a free ride. Not everyone can have freedom and an easy life, make sure you are not one of them.

10. Start your own business. Maybe it will grow huge and you will become the 'man'. Good for you.

  Tips

* Watch OFFICE SPACE, SCHOOL OF ROCK, BRAVEHEART, DODGEBALL, ANIMAL HOUSE, OLD SCHOOL. These will give you the 411 on the man and how to beat him.

* Listen to underground music.

* Find Jake Green.

* Keep your mission on the downlow. (The man will squash you in the open.)

* Don't overdo it.

* Read this on company time.

  Warnings

*The man is everywhere. Your teacher, principal, boss, prep and CEO all have billions of dollars, resources and people at their disposal. They will not take being stuck well.

* Proceed with caution and don't blame me when they toast you for this. You have been warned!

  Things You'll Need

* A free spirit

* Free time

* Another job lined up


Article added: 21 December 2007


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Identify The Man.
He will be wearing
a suit.


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