Editor's Note: Some experienced octogenarian must have dropped by wikiHow one morning to share this wisdom with the world, possibly one who hails from Down Under. Sunnies is Australian for shades.

How to Be a Senior Citizen and Be Chic or a Chick Magnet, as the Case May Be

 Steps (Ladies)

Sick of looking old? Now be "in" with the modern fashion!

1. Always wear fashionable. Go buy some clothes that are "in"!

2. Wear make-up that makes you look younger. Try 'Napoleon.'

3. Join a club or a group. And NOT a knitting club!

4. Be up-to-date with the "now" (music, fashion etc…) talk to a younger generation.

5. Have a steady income, so you can afford all of these things.

 Steps (Gentlemen)

1. Don't let your old age hold you back from meeting the younger girls. Learn how to be an old Casanova.

2. Get a new look. Change your clothes, car, technology and home. Learn to cope without any medical aids and work out more so you lose that big belly.

3. Become a regular at the local pub (that the young people go to) so you appear cool. Head down to the pub once a week once you have completed Step One and become a regular. As soon as you are there find a woman you like.

4. Approach the woman (she should be at least 30 years old) and be confident. Start with a cool move like ripping off the sunnies and a pick-up line. But you shouldn't be too corny because it’s unattractive.

5. Compliment her as much as you can and try to talk about her other then yourself - this may appear as boasting. Buy her an expensive drink to show that you’re not concerned about spending a bit of money.

6.Give her a lift home (in your new car) and walk her to the door like a gentleman.

Tips

* Dress for success

* Be in touch with younger generations

* Everyday is an occasion

* Expand your friendships

* Don’t dress your age

* Don’t be old be cool

* Be confident

* Don't go on and on about the past or your grandchildren.

* Learn a bit of slang and "young people language" (don't over use it will become tacky).

* Men only: use a nice smelling after shave

* Ladies only: Have all the accessories

* It helps to have a lot of money if you are a man (some girls are attracted to it).

Warnings

* Too much after shave is tacky - girls notice these things and may be turned off

* Don't try any of the above if you are married

* Too much slang is tacky

* Be wary of people your age, they tend to cramp your style

* Don’t gossip. It downgrades you on the social level

* Always seek the help of your physician before doing any extreme physical activities

* Don’t wear dark colours (it will not enhance your eyes)

* If you don’t follow this manual you will be sitting on your front porch on your rocking chair