Editor's Note: Those with truly awesome llamas probably won't need these tips.

How to Sell a Llama to Somebody Who Doesn't Want a Llama

Llamas are one of the few things in life that keep on giving. Starring in Napoleon Dynamite, llamas are a worldwide phenomenon in the movie making industry. Not owning one would be a huge disadvantage to the buyer. Follow these steps and you will be a llama selling expert!


1. First, you will have to convey the message that you are selling llamas. Yes, the Internet is a good start but you need to go bigger. Try contacting a local TV station and make a 30 second commercial for them to air. This way, people think you have more money than you actually do.

2. Next, when people come to buy a llama, do not act as if you are glad. Act like it is no big deal that people are coming and you are actually used to it. This is crucial.

3. When asked if the buyer can see the llama, do not say that they can unless they have the cash to do so. Most people will want to just come and see a llama and leave. However, you cannot let this happen, so this is a good way to avoid it. Also, it puts you as the seller in control of the sale.

4. After you are assured that the customer is buying, you must then talk down the llama before you get there. Therefore, the buyer's standards are lower and they will think more highly of the llama when he/she sees that the llama is awesome. Llamas can help you out as well if you train them well enough.

5. After luring in the buyer, then you're in the clear. You can act like a hot shot. Maybe give your trusty sidekick a high five, and if the buyer agrees, you can hug it out with them. However, remember to feel saddened that your llama is leaving because you want them to believe that the llama is worthwhile.

Article added: 15 May 2010

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A llama is not a dog.

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