Editor's Note: Get some Kleenex and imagine this being narrated in the voice of Morgan Freeman.How to Put a Tutu on a PenguinHow can a penguin be a ballerina without a tutu? Impossible. However, if you have ever tried to put a tutu on a penguin, I'm sure you have never succeeded. Therefore, we have created this page just for you!Steps 1. Buy a tutu of a very small size. Some alterations may be necessary to get that perfect fit that flatters your penguin's figure. 2. Buy a lasso. And a horse. And a cowboy hat. 3. Learn how to use a lasso. And ride a horse. And wear a cowboy hat. (See wikiHow articles on how to use a lasso, how to ride a horse, and how to wear a cowboy hat.) 4. Buy a plane ticket. 5. Buy a plane ticket for your horse. 6. Go to Antarctica. 7. Once in Antarctica, mount your horse. Don't forget the lasso. 8. Find a penguin. Make friends with said penguin. Forget about the lasso and buy plane tickets home for penguin, horse, and yourself. 9. Give penguin a friendship bracelet. 10. Casually place tutu on penguin when he/she is not paying attention. 11. Take a video and post it on YouTube. 12. Run away before your penguin can attack you, with his angry friends. Nothing worse than an army of happy feet… Tips * Sparkly cowboy hat = <3 Warnings * Wear gloves. And possibly a ski mask. And shin guards. Penguins have claws, freakishly strong flippers, and attitudes. * Make sure your penguin is well-fed so he doesn't get hungry and eat your face. * Also make sure your penguin is okay with wearing a tutu. Nothing worse than an insecure penguin. Except maybe an army of happy feet… Things You'll Need * Lasso (not really) * Horse * Plane ticket * Penguin * Tutu * Another plane ticket for the penguin. And for the horse. So make that three plane tickets. * Actually make that five plane tickets. The horse, the penguin, and you all need rides home too… unless you wanna swim. * Friendship bracelet * Sparkly (optional) cowboy hat * Pants (airport policy) * Underwear (it's just sanitary) Article added: 24 April 2009 wikiHowl collects funny how-to articles deleted from wikiHow.com, and brings them to you when you are looking for a laugh. wikiHow's content is shared under a Creative Commons license; with author credits for these silly or bizarre how-to's available via wikiHow's Deletion Log. |  Some penguins can't afford ballet classes. 
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