Editor's Note: This little gem will tell you how to determine your fart number.

How to Pass Gas Whilst Cheerleading

So you're a civilised, polite, pretty cheerleader… BUT suddenly you feel gas rushing towards the exit. Does the story end badly? It won't if you follow these steps!


1. HOW TO RECOGNISE WHEN YOU ARE ABOUT TO PASS WIND: This step varies from person to person as some people can feel it coming with fair warning whereas others only realise when it is coming out. Decide where you are on this scale: 1 (No warning at all) - 10 (Lots of time to devise a plan). This is your "number". Being above 5 is always helpful but if you are below then there is not much you can do.

2. WHAT MAKES YOU GASSY? Is it a food/ drink/ warmup that sets you off? Recognising if there is a something in particular will probably boost your number up. Also, if possible, you can prevent the problem.

3. HOW TO MAKE SURE PEOPLE DON'T NOTICE: If possible, wait until you are practising a routine with music or, you have music on during warmups. Also, there is no harm is asking to go to the toilet just to pass wind - it can also give you time to make sure that no more is coming. If you have new, plasticy shoes then you can pretend that the shoes were the culprit. Also, see other articles on how to deal with wind.

4. IF YOU GET CAUGHT: Then clearly you can't do much. Explain to them that your period/ school lunch/ illness/ other thing is making you gassy. All you can do now is ask them to keep it quiet but - unless they have the maturity of a 2 year old - they won't get much out of telling people that you farted during cheerleading.


* If you want then talking to a TRUSTED friend might relieve some of the stress and/or embarassment.


* Being a cheerleader can be quite difficult when it comes to embarassing bodily actions because you are expected to be perfect quite often.

Article added: 15 January 2010

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Cheerleaders can
be stinky too.

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