Editor's Note: It is funny when you honestly cannot tell if a wiki how-to was meant as a joke. This author apparently believes that looking like Pamela Anderson begins with making comprehensive notes about the size and shape of one's own breasts - oh, and checking Google, wink-wink.
How to Get Breasts Like Pamela AndersonOK admit it, Pamela Anderson has the best breasts in the world. Ever find yourself wishing your boobs looked like hers? Next time you need to dress up for a special occasion, use this guide to enhance the way those puppies look!
1. Google Pamela Anderson's Breasts and find a good clear picture (nude or not) revealing enough to see her breasts. Can't find one on google? Maybe one of your MySpace friends will have a pic.
2. Determine your cup size and measurements and know what you're working with. Write down everything you can to describe your breasts.
3. Get the highest quality bra that is as big as you want your breast to look. Money should be no object.
4. Fill up two balloons as much as you want with sand, and tie a knot in the nipple of the balloons making sure all the air is out and only sand remains.
5. Bend over so that you create a ninety degree angle with your body.
6. Push your breast as high on the chest wall as you can and place the sand balloons just under the nipple.
7. Have your partner place the bra on you as you bend over (remember to keep it tight enough so the balloons won't move). Fill them up more if you cannot fill the bra.
8. You should not see the balloon or your nipple exposed, only your natural breast tissue.
9. Take a generous amount of shimmery lotion and apply it around the exposed cleavage to give it the full effect.
10. Take a good look in the mirror and make sure they are positioned like Pamela's.
11. Not you apply deodorant and get dressed as usual.
* It helps to have a partner, but it is not a necessity.
* Always arch your back to make the breast appear bigger.
* If all else fails and it means that much to you, consider breast implants.
* Flesh colored balloons work best.
* This is not recommended for bikinis.
* The balloon can suffocate you, do not put over the mouth or nose.
Things You'll Need
Article Added: 24 December 2007
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All done, except for
the shimmery lotion.