Editor's Note:  Certain steps here assume SO much. Set the engines to idle? Release the landing gear? No problem!  Oh... and an airport will just magically appear before you? How convenient...

How to Fly a Plane when You Don't Know How

You're on a plane. The pilot just had a heart attack. What do you do?


1. Don't panic. The more you panic, the higher chance you have of getting off route.

2. Grasp the device that appears to be a stick coming out of the floor, or the wheel coming out ahead of you.

3. Pull back on it to make the plane face up.

4. Push forward to face down.

5. Turning or pushing left or right tilts the plane in that direction.

6. Head the direction the pilot was going.

7. When you you have an airport in sight and you have some experience with a radio, ask for permission to land, and report it is an emergency.

8. Head towards the runway going lengthwise with it and set engines to idle.

9. Release landing gear.

10. Just before touching the ground pull up so the back wheels touch first.

11. Put on your brakes, if you know how.

12. Get off the plane.


* When flying it helps to stay level. Good luck!

* Do not pull up too high or you will stall and start falling.

* Do not overspeed.

* If you  think this may happen in your life, buy the computer game Flight Simulator (any will work) for a tutorial on the basics of flying.


* DO NOT intentionally  knock out your pilot to fly a plane.

* In case of a crash landing, warn others to get in brace position while you pull up as hard as possible.

Article added: 10 December 2007

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Put on your brakes,
if you know how...

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