Editor's Note: What a wonderful and wacky world it would be if we just knew how to communicate more effectively with the rats.

How to Tell if Your Rat Understands English

Funny. Researchers have recently discovered that rats can tell the difference between Dutch and Japanese. They apparently use the rhythms of the language to differentiate between the two and can be trained to respond to commands spoken in one language.

 Steps

1. Make sure your rat is paying attention. It may help to hold a large wedge of cheese.

2. In order to break the ice between you and your rat, talk about anything, apart from cats. A sign that you may dislike cats should be a good approach.

3. If your rat is shy, try treating it with a couple sips of wine or any other alcoholic beverage.

4. Try speaking to your rat about something appealing in a language other than English. "Desirez-vous le fromage?"

5. Watch your rat for a response.

6. Ask your rat "Would you like some cheese?" while breaking off a chunk of the cheese and waving it around.

7. Watch your rat again for a response.

8. If your rat is more excited about the English question than the French one, it may understand English.

 Tips

* Rats may respond irrationally, regardless of the language used, in the presence of felines.

 Warnings

* Do not try this experiment with a rabid rat.


Article added: 21 April 2008


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Howl collects funny how-to articles deleted from wikiHow, and brings them to you when you are looking for a laugh. with author credits for these silly or bizarre how-to's available via wikiHow's Deletio
wikiHowl collects funny how-to articles deleted from wikiHow, and brings them to you when you are looking for a laugh. 
with author credits for these silly or bizarre how-to's available via wikiHow's Deletion
Funny-looking teeth
may preclude your
rat from speaking
English.


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