Editor's Note: This article is most useful in countries which don't take care of everything for you.

How to Become a Vigilante Superhero

Did you ever seek the means to fight injustice, to protect the innocent? Ever wanted to help people and fight crime but you don't want to work with the police because of too many rules and barriers, trust issues, etc? Want to make those you love feel safe in a frightening world and clean up your neighborhood and be a symbol hope? Well this article is going to help you become a vigilante superhero, and an effective one. But be warned, it's illegal.

 Steps

1. Make sure you really want to help people or fight crime because this is somewhat time consuming and plus you'll be putting your life on the line.

2. Research the things that will be required. Make sure you have an understanding of forensics, law, criminology, anatomy and physiology, phlebotomy, first aid, and rescue techniques

3. Get in shape, exercise and eat healthy! You can't fight crime and help people if you weigh 400 pounds.

4. Choose what kind of vigilante you want to be:
  • Protecting people on streets and using violence.
  • Searching for lost or missing people.
  • Investigating crimes (detective).
You can choose one, or be all these at once!

5. Teach yourself to fight, take self defense classes and take martial arts classes. Krav Maga and Keysi are extremely effective fighting methods. Try to avoid arts that are not street-effective.

6. Wear bullet proof vests or custom-made armor to prevent serious injuries or death.

7. Wear clothes depending on your neighborhood or environment. Examples: Wear forest camouflage if you live in the forest, wear pure white if it's winter, don black or dark blue at night.

8. Know your surroundings and learn everything about your city. Unless you live in the forest.

9. Go watch out or cruise around dark alleys, places where people are usually raped or robbed, watch out for people if they are alone and walking somewhere in the dark.

10. Weapons never make the hero, The utility belt is just in the comics unless you're going for legal non-lethal gadgets. devices like UV lights, pepper spray, tazers and smoke bombs can be useful. Pellet guns are a good non lethal ranged option.

11. Buy or make a mask and make a codename that people can call you in your uniform or costume to hide your identity. If a criminal or a gang finds out who you really are, then they can attack you when you don't expect it. If they find out where you live with just your first name and last name, they will kill or hurt your family.

12. Try to divert attention away from yourself as a civilian.

13. Make sure you have some form of transportation to get to an emergency.

14. Have a source, someone or something to find the people that need you. Try craigslist.

15. Learn CPR and other medical techniques.

16. Recognize that this is illegal and very, VERY dangerous.

 Tips

* The best armor is a Kevlar vest with trauma plates, it worked for Emil Matasareanu! Also consider protection of your head.

* Don't just watch out for people on the streets, if you suspect a house or place where there is torture, wife beating, animal abuse or child abuse taking place, then check it out.

* If there is danger/crime that you cannot help with, call 911. Sometimes just calling 911 can be the best thing you can do. If police don't do anything, you will have to do something yourself.

* Investigate or report the house/place to the police. Investigate crimes and tip only ANONYMOUSLY, you don't want to testify in court. You might want to gather evidence beforehand.

* Remember that shows like CSI are fiction made for entertainment, so don't rely on them for accurate information. Instead read books and ask questions.

* Remember: People are always afraid of the unknown! Criminals are a superstitious cowardly lot!

* Don't be afraid to ask for help.You can't do everything on your own

* Remember: This is just as dangerous as being a cop, a soldier or a fire fighter! So consider all options.

* If you're a millionaire, then use advanced or better quality stuff than the normal person (think "Batman" or "Green Arrow")

* The power of fear is on your side. Using fear against others can prevent physical combat. But first, you must conquer and experience fear to use and understand it.

* Note: Only become an extreme superhero/vigilante (like "Batman" or "DareDevil") if you have extreme experience or a lot of training and money. Bruce Wayne spent most of his childhood, teen years, and young adult life becoming Batman!! If you don't have experience, try the Mighty Mouse route.

* You don't need to use violence to be a helpful vigilante, but instead of beating down criminals and protecting people at night, Volunteer with fires or help someone if they are injured and need to be sent to hospital and help small children if they are lost or walking somewhere alone.

* If someone is being attacked, then give them a tazer or pepper spray to help fend the attacker off.

* You don't have superpowers, make gadgets and customize weapons to substitute superpowers. For example: Take a pair of leather gloves. Then take nails and put them through the knuckles (so it's sorta like wolverine) and then crazy glue or duct tape the nails secretly so you can punch criminals and stop them at the same time. And make sure you have padding on your knuckles under your gloves so the nails don't hurt you. (Note: you can do this with rocks, pebbles, pieces of metal and more other than nails.)

 Warnings

* Weapons are to only be used if you have experience and ONLY AS A LAST RESORT, read the Poor Mans James Bond, because the Anarchist Cookbook is misleading! This is not fun! This is for people who want to help.

* You will be putting your life into danger for this. Ask yourself if you really want to do it!

* Do not try to take down any criminal syndicates unless prepared. Always be prepared. As for others being attacked, try attacking the attacker and taking the victim to safety.

* Handcuffs and duct tape are a must, don't forget them.

* Don't dress up in silly costumes! That is just plain stupid. Leave capes out of the mix, think of Dollar Bill in Watchmen: His cape got caught in a door and he was shot dead.The same goes with masks, Domino masks are just plain dumb, use a mask that will hide features. Think Batman, DareDevil, etc. Dress as low profile and comfortable as possible.

* DO NOT KILL ANYBODY UNLESS YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO. Remember, police only shoot or tazer people if they are being attacked or if someone is going to kill or hurt someone. And even then they have to do a ton of paperwork, which is the number one thing you want to avoid. Supervigilantes don't push papers. So don't do it. Killing is an option I would never take, mostly because of the forms you have to fill out. Remember it will not score you points with the police or public, even if the paperpushing bureaucrats will become your best friends.

* DO NOT go around and brag about how you are a vigilante! That's how criminals and gangs find you! Also, the police may not be very happy that you are a vigilante. Try to find ways to stay on their good side. Again read Watchmen: The police finally caught Rorschach and he was always fighting convicts in prison.

* NEVER EVER HURT AN INNOCENT PERSON!

* Never run into a burning building. You're just putting yourself at risk and making the firefighters' jobs harder.

* Realise that Batman, Superman, Spiderman etc, are fictional characters and you won't be able to do some of the things they do. Plus they never have to do that pesky paperwork.

 Things You'll Need

* Lots and lots of training and exercise

* Some type of armor

* Bravery

* Good fighting skills

* Cell phone or walkie talkie to to call 911 or to communicate with fellow vigilantes. Get them on speed dial before starting.

* Some form of transportation to get to an emergency or to get to someone who is in trouble (car, bicycle, truck, motorbike,etc.)

* 3-10 years of hardcore training.

* Intelligence and instincts

* Camera or tape recorder


Article added: 03 April 2009


wikiHowl collects funny how-to articles deleted from wikiHow.com, and brings them to you when you are looking for a laugh. wikiHow's content is shared under a Creative Commons license; with author credits for these silly or bizarre how-to's available via wikiHow's Deletion Log.

Be sure to catch that
trapeze, or your
supervigilante career
is over.


Bookmark and Share

Limited Edition Coffee from Gevalia