Editor's Note: Time for a teenagers reality check. Affluenza seems to have this teen firmly in its grip - the clear assumption is that every wikiHow reader is a school-attending technology laden mallrat with benefit of a parent-chauffeur.

How to Be a Total Teen Girl

Now, I hope you already know this, but here's how to kick up the drama.


1. In the morning, don't wake up until the last minute (weekdays - 20 mins before bus, weekend - 11 o' clock)

2. Hold up the bathroom for fifteen minutes.

3. Before leaving for your day's activity (school, mall) put a pack of gum in your mouth. Chew loudly.

4. Pack your purse. Make sure you have your Cell Phone, MP3 player, Digital Camera, Gum, Candy, Money (if you don't have some, you don't have to.)

5. Pick your shoes if you haven't yet.

6. Last minute hair check.

7. If someone (other than a sibling) is in the front seat, demand to sit in it. Don't get in the car until you get it.

8. Take out your Cell Phone, MP3 player, Gum, and Camera. Then text (ringtone on loud so it goes off a lot), blast the tunes, chew more gum, and take pictures of the people in the car.

9. Put your feet on the dash or the seat in front of you.

10. When at home take a long soothing bath.

11. Take a long time and make sure to apply lotion every spot possible.

12. Get online and stay on.

13. Later, go up to your room and crank the tunes.

14. (If you hadn't already) put PJs on.

15. Turn off Music, fall asleep with TV (loud) and light on.

16. Repeat.


* Carry all your technology with you.

* Have alot of hairspray.

* Say ''Umm...'' alot.

* Ask people how to spell.

* If you don't have an MP3 player , blast the car radio.

* Use annoying Ringtones on your phone such as Wannabe by The Spice Girls or Barbie Girl by Aqua.

* If possible, run out of gum/candy and ask your parents if you can run into the gas station and buy a new pack.


* Don't push parents until they get really mad.

* Don't waste your energy on little kids (they get angry too quick. )

 Things You'll Need

* Cell phone

* MP3 player

* Digital camera

* Car/Bus

* Hairspray

* PJs

* Music

* TV

* Gum/Candy

* Annoying Ringtone ( everybody has that )

* A friend who can speed text.

* Computer

Article added: 29 February 2008

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I wonder what I can
get from my mom

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