Editor's Note: It would be super if you could just read an article about how to be super and then suddenly become super, a veritable superhero with super powers. Watch out, once you are ready, it could happen anywhere; when you are shopping at the supermarket, or lodging at the Super 8 Motel, or at home among friends, watching the funny commercials on the Super Bowl.

How to Be Super

Have you ever seen a Super … Person do something super? You want to be like that, trust me, you do.

Steps

1. You have to be poor as a child, or have rich parents that are dead. Either way, you need to have something to avenge.

2. Get a Secret Hideout. Caves, Mansion Basements, Cybernetic Underworld, anything works… Except your parents downstairs room.

3. Get a Super Outfit!! Any colors work except black. Has to be Spandex.

4. Have your friend, preferably female, fall off a building.

5. Save her, it couldn't hurt.

6. Get a mask, a full face mask ( so people don't figure out your secret identity).

7. Get a Super name. It has to end with 'Man' or 'Woman', so you could come up with something like 'Chairman' or 'Lightwoman' or ' ManWoMan' (Figure that one out)

8. Now go out there and do something Super Heroic!

Tips

* Being evil isn't bad, just check out the 'How to be Evil' guide

* OK, maybe it is but it has its perks.

* You should get a really nice car, but it isn't necessary.

* Having a sidekick helps.

Warnings

* Don't, (and I mean Definitely don't!) tell anyone except your spouse your secret identity.

Article added: 22 August 2008

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Grab yourself a
spandex suit and
start being super
today!